College Vocabulary
From: http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/6174/co_vocab.htm
ABSENT: (n) The notation generally following your name in a class
record.
ADMISSIONS OFFICE: (n) Where they take you to get you to admit you've
mooned the keynote speaker during "new student weekend."
ANATOMY: (n) One of those classes that sounds vaguely risqué until
you find out what it REALLY involves.
BIOLOGY: (n) A class located suspiciously near the cafeteria.
BOOK: (n) A depository of knowledge which a student will try to stay
awake long enough to read the night before finals.
BOOKBAG: (n) A large container in which students store candy bars,
gum, combs, little slips of paper with phone numbers on them,
yo-yos, sunglasses, student I.D.s, loose change, magazines, &
(occasionally) books.
CAFETERIA: (n) from Latin "cafe" ("place to eat") and "teria" ("to
wretch").
CAFFEINE: (n) One of the four basic food groups.
CALL: (v) What you can't do because your stupid roommate has to go
over every stupid detail of every stupid day with their stupid
hometown sweetheart.
D-MINUS: (n) A pretty good grade.
DORM: (n) Student residence located only a few convenient miles from
8 a.m. classes.
DORMROOM: (n) A small closet-like area inhabited by a pair of
incompatible people.
EDUCATION BUDGET: (n) Money you allocate each month for movies and
magazines.
EXTRA CREDIT: (n) What you wish you had on your credit card.
F: (n) A grade that can usually be altered to look like a "B" on a
test paper.
JUNIOR VARSITY: (n) The team that everybody supports, but nobody goes
to watch.
KLUTZ: (n) What you discover your lab partner is when you ask him to
slowly pour the sulfuric acid into the beaker you're holding.
LAB: (n) A room full of icky, funny-looking creatures and the dead
frogs they dissect.
LETTERMEN: (n) Scholarship athletes who proudly wear letter sweaters
proclaiming the vowel or consonant they have mastered.
LIBERAL ARTS: (n) See: "Would you like fries with that?"
LOUNGE: (n) Any area in a dorm, union or classroom building where the
only furniture that isn't soiled, ripped or scarred is
immediately stolen.
MAJOR: (n) Area of study that no longer interests you.
MIDNIGHT OIL: (n) What you make popcorn in.
MISERY: (n) The sinking feeling you get when introduced to the person
your roomie fixed you up with because "the two of you are so
much alike."
NICKNAME: (n) Generally, your own name with the suffix "ster" attached
in a forced awkward attempt at familiarity. E.g. "Bobster,"
"Hankster" or "Georgester."
OFF-CAMPUS PARKING: (n) Ample extra parking usually found in an adjoining
county.
OUT: (n) Where your roommate always is when one of the 35 clubs she
belongs to calls with a very important message.
PAPER: (n) Your version of Cliff Notes.
POSTER: (n) An inexpensive way to decorate a dorm room while making
people think you've been to foreign lands and done things you
never have.
PRE-LAW: (n) The major of a person who will end up in sales.
VICE SQUAD: (n) A group of uniformed officers who seem to be under the
impression that they were invited to your dorm party.
VENDING MACHINE: (n) A coin operated device for dispensing breakfast,
lunch, and dinner.
VICTOR: (n) Your football team's weekly opponent.
VICTORY: (n) A rarity; a three syllable word that cheerleaders CAN spell.
WEEKEND: (n) Two day period during which your growling stomach makes
you really wish you'd signed up for a seven day meal plan.
WINTER: (n) When the air conditioning in your dorm finally kicks in.
WORK-STUDY: (n) Two things not done by a majority of students.
WRISTWATCH: (n) That device on your arm that lets you know which class
you're currently late for.
X-RAY: (n) A medical technique that will display cafeteria meatballs up
to ten years after they're eaten.
YALE: 1) (n) A well known ivy league university.
2) (v) What southern cheerleaders do.
YEARBOOK: (n) A book containing student pictures that will keep getting
nerdier as the years go by.
YESTERDAY: (n) When the 12 page paper you started tonight was due.
YIELD SIGN: (n) Dormitory wall decoration you "purchased" around 3 in
the morning with the help of two buddies and a hammer.
ZEPPELIN: 1) (n) A large blimp. 2) (n) Still the best band for playing air guitar in one's underwear.
ZERO: (n) The number of times you've gotten to eat most of the pizza you ordered.
ZOO: (n) What dorms would look like if they were a little neater.
ZOOLOGY: (n) The study of animal life (See: "Frat boys at Homecoming").